I don't feel a thing when I see a nude Pamela Lee
  A whopper meal with cheese ain't my cup of tea
  I'm a sensitive person, please be gentle with me
  'Cos I believe everything you say and take it seriously
  I wanna be a regular guy
  Watch football and drink beer 'til I die
  Instead I read Kafka and write poems that make me cry
  God, let me be a regular guy
  Remember when you were Gene Simmons, I pretended I was Voltaire
  Now I hold a professorship while you scratch your pubic-hair
  You can spend a day just watching your sweetheart get a perm
  I rack my brain over: which came first? The intestine or the tapeworm?
  I wanna be a regular guy
  Dig Quentin Tarantino films or maybe wear a tie
  Instead I read Nietzsche and get a philosophic high
  Please, let me be a regular guy
  Fifteen years old and God was James Joyce
  Studied to become an opera-singer, but I always lost my voice
  My best friend was my asthma-medicine
  I was quoting Ulysses when you saw Led Zeppelin
  I wanna be a regular guy
  Watch football and drink beer 'til I die
  Instead I read Kafka and write poems that make me cry
  God, let me be a regular guy