At home, at work, at play
   I know you're unavailable from dusk to dawn
   Or if you were available you'd bring along
   A lot of what could only be a hindrance to me
   I ain't a glutton for a lot of sweaty company
   You gotta catch her while she's still at home
   You gotta catch her while she's still at work
   You gotta catch her while she's still at play
   The only way is at home, work, or play
  
   Time really flies when it ain't that much time
   You better shave half your face at a time
   And brush the front of your teeth, leave the rest
   And be with her when she's not with the rest
   Stop, there's gotta be a million girls like her, though
   I can't think of one
   So you catch her while she's still at home
   And you catch her while she's still at work
   And you catch her while she's still at play
  
   Don't let her calendar be any cause to pout
   There is a bit of time when there are few about
   I'm gonna skirt the issue of her popularity
   And just avail myself of all the time that she is free
   You gotta catch her while she's still at home
   You gotta catch her while she's still at work
   You gotta catch her while she's still at play
   Cause half the day she's at home, work or play
  
   And time is fleeing the scene of the crime
   The act of passing out wrinkles and lines
   To every person regardless of race
   To every person regardless of face
   Stop, there's gotta be a million girls like her though
   I can't think of one
   So at home she says you butler well
   And at work she says you're typing well
   And at play she says you caddie well
  
   Stop, There's gotta be a million girls like her though
   I can't think of one
   So you catch her while she's still at home
   And you catch her while she's still at work
   And you catch her while she's still at play
  
   I'm gonna love you under incandescent light
   I'm gonna love you under fluorescent light
   The glaring sun above should not inhibit us at all
   I'm very glad to know that your libido never palls
  
   Stop, she's unique, especially at home
   Where you're butler, maid, and often cook
   And at work together juggling books
   Or at play between the tennis sets
   Or at play before she's placed her bet
   Or at play while she's still slightly wet
   Or at play while she is dripping wet